to have&not to hold...

To have & not To hold
Originally uploaded by HaMeD!caL

valentine's day stuff wasn't in
the system anymore so i got
some free mugs, and lau,
one is for you.. it's an 8oz.
travel mug with heart balloons.
i'm not sure if it's the one
you wanted specifically, but
it has heart balloons none the less.

talking to a friend today...
they kinda distanced themselves
from me a bit... and i'm not sure why?
i asked if i had anything to do with it
and all they said was "in the end it was me"...

i'm not sure how i feel about that.
should i feel like i have contributed to something
or not? but whatever, you know? i guess
i just have no other choice except to go with it.

you know how dogs tilt their head to the
side when they have no idea what's going on?
yeah, that's me. haha.

i enjoy the conversations we have
and i find myself looking at pictures
but never really knowing.

i have a fascination with looking at other
people's pictures.

mm. you know when you lock something
away or put it away at least so you
can't look at it anymore.. and all you
want to do it take it out and hold it
just to know it's that easily within reach?
that's how i feel about my heart.
i lock it up and take it out just to make sure
it's there....

to have¬ to hold.
it's for God to do what He wants..
but i'm only human, right?

love you.