embers and envelopes.

wall of stage technician jobs
Originally uploaded by xxblackdahlias

i wrote a letter to absolutely no one today.
it wasn't really a letter. it was kind of just
a list of questions that can only be answered
in theories, and can't really be answered
with fact.

then i burned it because i felt like some things
were better left to be theories and that i shouldn't
expect for everything to have a set answer.
and that God created everything, so no matter
why i wanted to know why, i just know that
God made it have a purpose.

so today is flood PM shift #2 out of infinity.
haha.
the joys of being an intern.
i have been at flood for 8 days straight.
either at the offices or at kearny or even
both.

so i pretty much made the whole new set
by myself. and i'm just wondering how
it looks now. i'm too judgmental of my
own work.. so i will look at it with the most
scrutinizing view.

so...tell me what you think, yeah? you can say
"veronica, you're a crap set designer" orrrr
"veronica, it looks pretty decent, actually"
cuz i do want feedback. i'm rusty with all
the tech stuff so it was weird to force myself
back into an old routine. but i liked it.

blasting music, getting crap all over my clothes
that i know probably won't come out, sawing,
gluing, painting... just creating.

anyway. i'm still super fascinated by my MBTI
categorization. i'm an INFJ. and i like
reading all the different things that the definitions
that different people write have to say.

:]

anyway.
Jesus loves you, and so do i.
i'm feeling quite giggly today so
i'm gonna go amuse myself with
something pointless for 45 minutes
before i bum rush it over to Flood.

16 Candles

16 Candles
Originally uploaded by gabegall

dear little brother:
on monday you'll be 16.
and for 5 whole days
you can say that i am only
2 years and 360 days older
than you.

but let me give you some advice,
oh young one. i am experienced
in the art of sneaking around. but
unlike you, i knew how to cover
evidence. remember: you have a
good 7inches on me in height.
and my legs are short. so when
you sneak out at night and take my
car out for a joy ride, remember the
following:
1) i am a light sleeper and i can hear
the sound of my car getting turned on.
especially since it's right under my
bedroom window.
2) put the driver's seat settings back
to where they were, readjust the mirrors,
and clean up the in n out wrappers that
you leave behind.
3)don't leave your cell phone in my
cup holder. it's a dead give away.
4)you're also notorious for hitting the
curb, hence you mis-align my tires and
the steering wheel shakes. that's not my
doing. it's all you.
and finally
5) touch my car again, and i will hurt you.

i love you very much, and i will give
you more advice throughout the year
about making it being a 16 year old,
and a junior in high school.

now go clean my car, since you made a mess.

love,
your big (little in stature) sister

cubicles.

Cubicle farm
Originally uploaded by TempletonElliott

mine is ugly
some weird shade of greyish brown
and dreary.

it needs life.

school

mar
Originally uploaded by yonosevolar

my spanish teacher likes the concept of homework and tests.

my english teacher is very opinionated, swears a lot, and likes dirty humor.

my statistics teacher is older and a mega nerd. it's cute. she gave us gummy bears.

during my break today, i have spent most of it trying to figure out who in the heck would know who i could talk to in regards to booking a screening for IC to come to mesa. and alas, no avail. but i'm not giving up.

next i have child psychology. i hope that teacher is closer to normal than my other ones.

and then i go buy books.

and then i get gas.

and then i intern.
and bug high schoolers.
and the guy named luke who play worship for flood high, cuz i can.

i attacked noel's office door with post-it notes yesterday.
very, VERY minor show of my pranking capabilities.
i just loved the constant "what the deuce?" reaction
from everyone.

um.

yeah.

love.
bye.

every touch leaves a trace

confide in me
Originally uploaded by . andré bernardo

i wonder if i'm expecting way too much to have someone help
me grow more so we can grow in Christ together
to the point where i now feel that i may be the one who
is supposed to help someone grow? that perhaps maybe
i'm the one who is supposed to be the light? to help guide
someone back on the path that God has set for them?

every touch leaves a trace.

i think i'll start leaving more traces, then.
traces of Christ's love.

but, prayer request... can you pray for me on this?
for clarity in regards to if indeed i AM supposed to
be the one who is supposed to be the light? the
one who is supposed to help guide and help
aim them in the direction to grow more?

:]

i love you.

i'm nervous

The candle burnt out long before....
Originally uploaded by jodders_898

to burn out too fast.

with all the changes the way they are going
and all that... i understand that i'm going to
work...a lot...

i'm nervous
that my own flame will burn out too quickly.

the way it looks so far in my schedules
is that the only days i will have
off are friday and saturday, but i may
even have to sacrifice my friday nights.
and saturdays don't count because i'm
gonna need sleep for the long sundays.

and my only free nights are mondays
and thursdays.

school.
intern.
schools for schools.


i understand that i have made commitments
and i have every intention of keeping them.
but....i don't want to give everything i like doing
up.

bamboo door

bamboo door
Originally uploaded by xxblackdahlias

i sent...many an e-mail yesterday for the crew retreat.
and made many a phone call.
and inputted lotsa people into the spread sheet.

saw my little sis yesterday...it was good to see her.
she does some stuff that concerns me, but i guess
as a big, i would get concerned over some stuff
that may appear to be trivial.

mom is convinced i need a vacation, so tue&wed.
i will be up in LA to do whatever for whatever reason.
it was supposed to run the entire week, but mom always
forgets to ask about my schedule, and of course, the
crew retreat is next week, so that doesn't work.

went to nado last night.
saw a lot of people.
was surprised as to how excited they were to see me.
i was taken aback.

mmk.
call me to make a playdate.
yeus.
love you.

i glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings

rainbowfighters
Originally uploaded by Sherri DuPree

oh, what marvelous things.

i don't like being perceived
as naive. orrr when people
have "holier than thou"
attitudes in regards to anything,
really.

and i hate being under estimated.

oh, people.

The American Mall is made by the
execs that made HSM. but TAM
is on MTV and not disney. and they're
both equally as cheesy.

la di da.

mmtay.

i dunno.

bye.

phil.

well, then.

Originally uploaded by kristinshaw

psych will be over today as of 1pm.
i will never have to listen to freudian
ideas and concepts. which i think
are stupid.
freud=stupid. the end. no one is
allowed to tell me other wise.

i get to have a sleep over with alisa
and alicia tonight. that will be exciting.
yay yay yay!

mm. i've been bad. i haven't made my
follow up doctor's appointment.
i should.

oh! go play on OurStage. it's fun. i promise. also, go to the side
and click on the social vibe thing. just by you clicking
around on it earns me points which earns money for
invisible children. easy, right?

ok.

well.

i have an hour before i need to leave.
so i SHOULD shower.
and get ready.
and do stuff like that.
you know?
kay.
bye.
love.

acoustics

Originally uploaded by ieve

well, for one, i love tyler hilton.
and two, i also like the acoustic
version of Belief by John Mayer
that i just bought.

i don't really have anything
interesting to say other than
the fact that i want a Loris.
it's a weird looking monkey.
and it's cute.

the end.
over and out.

activity

Originally uploaded by rachel.am.

i want to...
+participate in critical mass (won't happen till the last friday of this month)
+make it into the IC office to volunteer (it's been 2 weeks)
+nail the final i have this week for psych
+get an insane amount of work done at the Flood internship
+hang out and have friendsie time (playdates! let's make one)
+plan a day for the photo adventure that keeps getting put off
+be brave enough to cliff jump
+go to the comedy night at lestat's
+sleep enough
+hope that my body will allow me to eat normal food again
+make a follow up doctor's appointment and find out if i'm a strep carrier or not

doop dee doop.

so glad i finished the lame sauce take home test last night.

i also has a reminiscing moment...i missed doing musical theater. and i had a bunch of songs stuck in my head. mainly from Songs for a New World. i miss it. the dancing. the rehearsals. the pre-opening night rituals. the costumes. the make up. the gallons of hairspray. wishing you could snag a snack but couldn't since you were in costume. the rush of being on stage. hmm. <3

ah.
<3

Lord, be my super hero

superman
Originally uploaded by kamilegs7

my health is weak.
the only food i manage to hold
down are bananas and tortillas.

my heart hurts.
because it feels like no one really
wants to hang out with me anymore.
but i know it's because of given
situations that things are going to
change. and they are. and i
have to accept that.

my spirit has been weak because
i, as usual, like to keep a little finger
on everything.

Lord, be my rock.
put this shattered glass of a girl
back together.
be my strength.
and clear the path of my vision.
guide me in these friendships.
and guide me back to the path
of growth.
heal my body. it's weak.
and seemingly keeps having
issue.
fix me, Lord.
you're the only one who can.
amen

solitary.

Originally uploaded by rachel.am.

i feel like no one ever wants to hang out anymore.

i call.
no one calls back.
i text.
no one texts back.

...did i do something?
or am i just not the type of person
one wants to spend time with?

hi....remember me? i thought we were friends...
remember when you told me you wanted to
hang out? and i took the initiative to try
and do that? oh..but you never got back to me.
i thought we were friends, but why are you being
so cordial with me? "thanks for coming?" what
the hell is that.

i don't like it.