long boarding

Boards
Originally uploaded by Photostudent

so.. david helped me out a lot
last night with skating. tonsss
of fun.. i can turn now :] not that
well, but you know... it's only
my second time.

yesterday was good :]
i love the ucsd people.
i got to turn jamin into an
emo kid last night and that
was epic. haha. i guess
hair, make-up, and costuming
did me some good during tech.

i love my friends and i am glad
i get to spend time with them.
<3

i am truly blessed.
and i love even moreso,
that when i share my past...
i am not judged anymore.
they take who i am... and that
makes me very happy.

love you all.

the yellow power ranger is severely under rated

Yellow Ranger
Originally uploaded by theanimeblog

competitive side of me came out.
it's been a while.
i wish i did better.
i could have, too.
especially in that steal-the-bacon-esque
ball game.... but, oh well. hopefully
we'll rock it next time.

it was kind of odd though, because
the person in my small group that
had given me awkward greetings
before now seems to have taken
a liking to me just because i, too,
have a competitive side...
o_0

but last night was good.
love to
brandy
candace
keith
lau
julie
lauren
ron
kgb
armani
brandon
mike
and
dave...

so much laughter
and i couldn't have felt better.

i have a a small string of
txt messages in my inbox
of which i am not sure on
how to interpret...

"chiquita bonita"....

i'll just ignore my normally
questioning thoughts.

today should also be a good day.

love you.

p.s. looked up the meaning of the name "veronica"
it means:
true image [[latin]]
or bringer of victory [[greek]]
"lauren"-
the bay/laurel plant
"candace"-
clarity/whiteness
"brandy"-
sword [[italian]]
comes from the distilled wine
"julie"-
youthful
"michael"-
who resembles God [[hebrew]]
"keith"-
woodland/forest [[gaelic]]
"david"-
beloved [[hebrew]]
"daniel"-
God is my judge [[hebrew]]

yeah... haha now i'm fascinated with name meanings and origins.

flight

LAX Sunset Airplane Landing
Originally uploaded by felibarrientos

had a txting conversation with
scott in regards to travel.
he feels a draw to the mediterranean
while i feel a strong pull to go back
to the UK or to africa. everywhere
else is a want, but i feel like this
is a need to go... at some point in
my life... not just yet, but hopefully
within the next 5 years.

traveling has always been
a special thing for me.
i will be excited once i get to
go somewhere that i know
God is calling me to. :]

woooooo

oh man. today has been a
good day.

prayer is so powerful.

i need to buy a new journal, lau.
the one you gave me is almost
filled up.


i'm long overdue for a drive up the coast...
let me know if you'd like to join me on that.

and i really wanna go on a chalk drawing adventure.

and have a shirley temple movie marathon.

:]

love you.

it'd be wise

WISE bulletin cover
Originally uploaded by ryanhartsock

if i learned when it was time
to stop talking.

silence is golden...
but duct tape is silver.

i'm dropping my mythology class.
nothing good is coming of it.
and the teacher seems to glare at
me every time he insults something
relatively Biblical, like he knows it'll
get to me. it might seem like paranoia,
but when he was going over the book
of Exodus last week in regards to comparing
it to Egyptian mythology and he'd call on me
every single time he wanted someone's
opinion when it came to the Bible portion
of it... and then my opinion would get ripped
to shreds... so... no more mythology for me.
kind of a relief, to be honest.

so. yeah.
it'd be wise to be silent
it'd be wise to be calm
it'd be wise to quiet.

training tonight. school&flood tomorrow. school&hanging out on thursday. TONS of work this weekend.

<3

...sing a lullaby to yourself.
calm, quiet, and soothing...

already prepping

Coronado Beach, San Diego
Originally uploaded by Marco & Ilaria

so. i've been looking at bikinis
trying to figure out how many
i'm going to need this year.
i had one last year... but that
was hard since i went to the beach
so much and if i wanted to use
my bikini that was still drying....
that caused problems...

so... target has a yellow polka dot bikini
that i want...

and i'm looking at other websites
with surf/skate brands, and i'm
falling in like with them..

haha.

i need to go on a drive up the pacific coast highway
soon. like, super soon. i'm dyin' here with lack
of gorgeous sunsets right out of my car window..

last night was chill. hung out with scott, scott, and james.
only girl, as always. was delirious due to lack of sleep.
scott was counting how many hours i had been up.

love those boys.
i even asked for permission to hang out with
them again on thursday and permission has been
granted. hahaha. then they made fun of me for
asking permission.

my throat hurts.
the end.

<3

locked

Quaint lock
Originally uploaded by Anastasia Larisa

my heart is getting locked up.
tightly to only which two people
have the key.

the first key belongs to God.
He will tell me when it is
permissible to open up my heart.
then the second key is obviously
mine... and only after i receive God's
ok, will i remove the second lock
and allow my heart to be shared.

still unsure of what's to be pursued....

and yeah.

:]

slow and steady, wins, right?

the unwinding cable car

so the only reason i decided to really watch this music video
was because luiken had said something about the questions
that appeared throughout it.

and after writing up all the questions... i decided to answer them.
they were pretty thought provoking.

the questions off of the new Anberlin music video
"The Unwinding Cable Car":

What makes us who we are?
Eyes?
i think that what makes us who we are is what we do.
the passions that we have in life, and the things we
take interest in. aesthetics can only define us so much.
they give people a physical image to remember us by,
but it's not like your eyes can tell someone your goals
and ambitions in life.


Who will you...
Love?
i will love God always&forever.
i will always love my family and friends.
i will love the husband that God has chosen for me.
i will always have a place in my heart for
those who are hurting&suffering.


Who will you...
Trust?
i will always trust God.
He will always be there for me to go to even in the
worst of situations.

Where is home?
San Diego.
and anywhere there is a beach or an ocean view
where i can look out to everything that is great and
so vast that God created.

What hardships will you face?
deciding what college to transfer to.
figuring out what i'm going to do after i graduate.
figuring out where God's calling is for my life,
my family, my future career.
having the patience to wait for the future
husband God has for me.
maintaining strength in my faith no matter
what the circumstance is.
& i just know that there's going to be so much
more. all i know is that i'm going to have support
no matter what, and i'm grateful for that.

What hardships will you overcome?
i hope i overcome them all.

What makes you happy?
God.
prayer.
praise&worship.
laughter.
the simplicities of life.
company.
someone's reaction to a simple act of kindness.
a hug.
a phone call just to say hello.
a text message to let someone know they were being thought of.
answering questions.
writing.
looking at everyone's view of the world through different forms of art.
adventures.
the list goes on.

What are your passions?
God.
helping people.
being around people.
...just people, i guess.
i love company, reactions, body language.
music.
reading.
traveling.
dance.

If you could... do it all over again...
what would you change?
relationships?
choices?
direction?
i honestly think that i would not want to go back
and change anything. every single thing that has happened to me,
which is A LOT... i don't think i'd be who i am now. every experience
has taught me something different... and for me being the head-strong
person that i am, it takes all sorts of experiences to make me learn things.
whether i have to learn it the hard way, or not.

i think it'd be selfish to say that i want to take out everything that was bad, imperfect, annoying, stupid, etc.

so to sum it up... i'd leave my life the way it's been so far.

What experience would you relive?
mm. i'm going to leave this question a bit of a mystery
cuz that story is kind of personal. but, that one experience
did help me fix something that was very broken in my life.

What will you achieve?
i hope i get to be a music marketer.
and have a side job, or at least volunteer to market
organizations like Invisible Children or To Write Love On Her Arms.
something helpful&meaningful that should be made known.

What will you be remembered for?
for being a strong Christian.
for having served Christ the best way i possibly could have.
that i lived a full life.
that i did something that helped change at least one person's life.
that i was kind&loving.

Don't Drop Your Arms

laughter

You don't stop laughing because you grow old.., originally uploaded by White_Lily.

last night church was great.
i'm so bummed that October Inc.
won't be playing there until
SEPTEMBER, but i mean, it's
cool that they're fulfilling a call
to do God's work, too.

&&also, i just now realized that
when they come back in september,
it'll be like a birthday present to me.
now that, is awesome.

haha. anyway.

after church, i hung out with quite
a large group of friends from UCSD.
i met more people, as always, and it
was pretty sweet. we all went hot
tubbing [except me, i didn't have a
bikini, but i stuck my legs in anyway]
and just hung out at luiken's and david's
apartment. the guy to girl ratio was
drastic... alisa and i being the only
ones of the female gender. i got to
see how extremely random scott is
[and let me say... it involves adding
"zar" to the ends of words... and
that's the least of it] and i also
got to learn more about those people.

james is teaching me how to skate
on thursday and that's pretty sweet.
and he, alisa, and i are all watching
across the universe, too. i am also stoked
for that as well. i actually have plans,
for once, for right after i get out of class.

le sigh.
can i give a prayer request?
to help with my decision as to
picking what school?
i don't think UC Berkeley is going
to be the right school for me.
academically, it's amazing... but
i don't want to leave everything and
everyone behind. so i'm now looking
at UC Irvine&SDSU.

love you.
God bless.

it's just whipped cream.

garsson2b, originally uploaded by rob964.

so today's shift was nice and short.
i even got let off twenty minutes
earlier than i was supposed to.
i was stoked.

and as usual, kylie, felicia, and i
were complaining about rude customers.
[i have to tell one of our regulars tomorrow
that he can't keep demanding $0.50 coffee..
and if he reacts meanly, i have to 86 him.]
anyway.

one lady flipped out at kylie today because
there wasn't whipped cream on her latte. well,
i had written up the cup and taken her order
and she never mentioned she wanted whip..
and lattes don't come with whip. and kylie
is preggers, so she's pretty darn irritable.

i asked what was wrong and the lady started
yelling at me.... we didn't really know how
to respond without being rude, and felicia
wasn't there...

but one of our other regulars looked at her
and said "lady, you're pitching an unnecessary
fit over WHIPPED CREAM. there is a war going on,
there are children in africa who are starving, there
are people who don't even know if they're going
to have dinner tonight... and you're treating them
as if they told you that they murdered your family.
it's whipped cream. so calm down. if i were them,
i would shoot the whipped cream straight into
your face and i would have banned you from
this store. but no, i don't work here. so ask them nicely
for some whipped cream and remember to ask
for it at the register next time. these ladies are nice
and they don't have to be nice to you."

i felt gob-smacked myself after hearing that, but
i was grateful that someone stood up for us.

i like our regulars.

now i have the rest of the day to myself.
and i don't have any homework.
what am i supposed to do?

le sigh. haha.
love you.
God bless.

p.s. i'm rethinking going to UC berkeley...
i don't think i want to go
that far away to a place
that's not exactly my top choice of
areas to live in. especially since
i'm establishing myself pretty well
down here and i have great friends
here and i don't want to leave everything
behind. so i'm thinking...maybe UC Irvine. :]

occupation

TREAT, originally uploaded by powerbooktrance.

my coworker and i feel
like we are the ones
that cover anything
and everything.

the ones who are always
depended on who get
pressured and guilted into
saying "yes" when we want
to scream "no"

i was supposed to have
a baby shift today of only four hours.
i got off hecka later than i was supposed to.

and on top of that, i spent a good hour
trying to get rid of a bird that flew into
the store. how it got into the store, you ask?
some customer swore it was like an oven
in the store and propped the door open
despite us telling that person "no"...
might i add it was only 40 degrees outside.

...people.
ugh. i've picked up so many hours this week.
and i hate how despite that i say that i don't
want to open all the flippin' time, i STILL get put
on the darn schedule to open everyday on the
weekends. or i close on a weekend and work
not that much later the next day.

i don't want my social life to go away.
oh... and now they're putting me on the
schedule for sundays. i told them i
wasn't available on sundays.

and i understand that we're understaffed
but seriously...

i'm just tired. i love my store. i love my
coworkers. i just don't love my hours,
and i don't like being guilted into taking
more hours than i need to.

oh well.
love you.
God bless.
peace.

happy hearts day

Paradise Island, Malawi, originally uploaded by netwalker.

happy valentine's day,
everyone.

i found the invisible children
video online today... so i
watched it.

and i know i posted something
about wanting to go on a
mission trip before, but it's like
watching that video made me
want to go even more.

and before, when i was considering
going on a mission trip, i only wanted
to go to europe... i don't know why i had
left out continents like africa and south america out
of the picture...

i think it'd be amazing to go on a trip
to spread God's love and share his message
in hopes of bringing more people to Christ.

hmm. we'll see.
:]

love you all.
happy valentine's day.
you're loved.
by me.
by God.
&so many more.

spread it!
peace.

purely awesome

talk about an awesome day.
i got an immense amount of people in my spanish
class to write "love" on their arms.
people in my statistics class had it written on
their arms, too... and it was pretty chill.

seeing the tons of people reppin' it over at
flood college just made my day complete.

asdhjksah fasdjska
i just cannot get over how amazing today has been.

making new friends.
spreading love like it's a contagious disease.
getting blue hair.
getting a phone call at almost midnight telling
me that i no longer have to work a double shift
on friday... :D SOOOO stoked about that!

just..
gah.
i can't even explain it.
today was simply
a-freaking-mazing.
thank you Lord, for making this day
absolutely wonderful.
for simply blessing it in
every respect imaginable.
you're an awesome God!

<3

i'm sleepy, now.
good night.
i love you!

To Write Love on Her Arms

To Write Love on Her Arms, originally uploaded by JamesFallen.

i'm really excited for tomorrow.
my day is absolutely packed
but i have this immense
energy and happiness in regards
to it.

i mean, i do have school, and i do
have to wake up early... but that is
just one part of my day, but also
a good part of my day where i get to
write "LOVE" on my arm for the world
to see.

i will proudly wear my TWLOHA
t-shirt everywhere i go.

i do get my extensions tomorrow...
so you'll see them at Flood College
if you're lucky... haha.

and i'm stoked for Flood College, too!

i just know tomorrow is going to be
a good day, no matter how hectic.
i'm nothing short of excited, as you already
know.

i can't wait for God to bless the day because
then i know it will be even BETTER.

Valentine's Day is on thursday and this
is the first year where i am actually not
bummed in any way, shape, or form.

ok, i'm ending this now...

i'll just start babbling even more if i don't.

<3

happy heart

It happened again.... it must be the heart socks..... :), originally uploaded by janoid.

mm. valentine's day on thursday.
plans: get dressed up all dressy-like
go to dinner at il fornaio up in del mar
kick it with amigos
..then cruise home early cuz i open the next morning.
HAH.

oh well.

this is the first valentine's day where i'm
actually fine being single.
where i'm not desperately searching
for someone to be "mine".
where i'm actually hoping that someone
doesn't ask me to be "theirs".
God is my valentine and so far, He's
been pretty awesome!

i'm also stoked for wednesday
which is To Write Love On Her Arms day.
i'm going sharpie shopping today
in hopes of finding some cool ones.
THAT will be a good day.

&i have decided that all my friends
will be my valentines. :]
i think that's a good idea, at least.

oi oi oi.

went shopping yesterday and
only bought two things. i am
SO proud of myself. that never happens.

alrighty then. i hope you all have a
wonderful day.

i'm already having a good one knowing
that my brother wants to come with my
to Flood. that's pretty sweet.

and i'm also stoked for God time.
<3

alright my loves. this time i'm out.

try something new

mskate, originally uploaded by photorant.

so i was getting taught how to skate my senior year
and now i really want to learn how to skate...
it'd be pretty sweet!!

&&plus... i dress like a skater... haha....
why not complete the image?

*sigh* getting my hair cut today
getting extentions on wednesday...
and might i add, they're going to be
PURPLE extentions. i'm pretty stoked.

this week has been interesting.

Flood College will be added to the weekly schedule.

oh, and i got Across the Universe if anyone
wants to watch that with me sometime.

i don't have much to say today, so that's it!

peace out.

it's a boxcar, with alterations

driving in downtown dallas, originally uploaded by michael hawkins.

..that make us go faster in a fast world...

i noticed that lately, the slowest i drive is 80
on the freeway. i speed... everywhere.
why? i don't get why i'm in such a hurry all the time.

and then i started to realized that was WHY i was
using up so much gas all the time.

i feel like my life i so fast paced.
to the point where i feel like my days that lack
something significant start to blur together.

i need to slow down.
the world shouldn't be slipping me by.
i have time. it's not like i need to rush.

i need to stop and smell the roses.
i need to stop being so anxious.
maybe it's okay to be late every
once in a while.

tell me to slow down, if you think i
need to.
tell me to stop being so anxious, if
i need to.
throw some roses at me and let me
smell them.


i'm only 18, for goodness sake...
and a baby for my age at that...
why do i rush?

step one, two, and three, and four

Jazz Dance Studio (Parma), originally uploaded by teo_ladodicivideo.

i woke up extra early this morning.
i don't even have class until eleven-ten
and i have been up since 5:45...
for once, to a quiet house, quiet dogs,
and darkness.

it was weird. but good. i got my quiet
time to think. i had my Jesus time.
i read a bit, too.

but i'm excited for dance. my legs
aren't, but i know it's going to be enjoyable.

i gave up performing two years ago.
i saw a show with lauren that made me realize
how much i truly do miss it.
i gave up using the gifts God gave me.
and now, i'm honing them again.

*

yesterday i felt a voice in the back of
my head telling me to come to terms with
my past. the voice kept getting stronger as
i went about my day through my classes...
so i stopped paying attention in statistics
and started writing. and i've dug up what i've buried.
i buried my past out of shame, or out of what
people have said to me about it. but i felt that
God told me i needed to come to terms with it.
and now i feel like he's telling me i need to
share it. i don't feel like i need to share with
with a lot of people... just a few.

the way i wrote it was sort as a justification to
WHY i am getting my tattoo...
and the reason i wrote it that way is after hanging
out with a few friends last thursday... and they
asked me why i wanted the tattoo, i told them it
was for personal reasons... and i've felt this
tugging on my heart ever since... like that i
should have explained to them the long and real
reason as to why i'm getting it.

i guess, if you'd like to read my story, i'll share it
with you.

all i ask is that you look at it with non-judgemental
eyes... and that realize that who i am now, is who
i intend to be for a very, very long time.
that my past shouldn't skew your opinion of me.

*sigh* haha.

yesterday's pluses:
+seeing an old friend
+being asked to help with a band
+my co-workers
+my manager
+trashy celeb gossip rags that the
girls in my store&i bond over
+hugs GALORE
+PURE guy-girl friendships

today's plus:
+dancing
dancing
dancing

<3

p.s. took the whole dern weekend off
including friday. let's go somewhere,
go do something... <3

i'm looking back to the heart of worship

worshiping hand on blue, originally uploaded by magbug.

&it's all about you, Lord.


that was a fast answer
to my prayer.

thank you, God, for giving me
a sense of relief, for giving me
friends who also prayed, for
giving me a friend who shared
with me the information i needed
to know to give me mental comfort.

thank you, God, for allowing them
to find what had been misplaced
so all the blame on me could be
lifted.

thank you, God, for giving me a staff
that trusts me and knows me better
than to immediately assume... and that
they found the answer to the dilemma.

thank you, God, for blessing me so
immensely.

i look forward to giving you all of
me. i look forward to singing Your
praises loud&proud tonight.

You are my blanket of comfort.
strong, warm, safe, and secure.
You amaze me.

AMEN

first time feeling

Banksy love, originally uploaded by Maya Newman.

i hate being accused of something.
i'm an honest person.

i mean, the flippin' cash handling
procedures at my job make it so that
no one below the position of shift manager
can touch the cash&drop it, or do anything
with it... [other than ring] but
money went missing from my till
last night. quite a bit. and it's my fault
because i was the last one assigned
to that till.

but i didn't take it. that's not my nature.
nor could i do so, anyway because
i don't have the keys to my drop
or to my till.

but i'm still liable for it.

i'm so scared.
i don't want to lose this job
that i love so much.

:[

i'm innocent.

i don't know how to react.

i don't know what to do.

i feel ridiculously helpless.

frozen. in a box.

with nothing to do.

but wait.

i don't like this feeling.