romanticizing.

-one is out of the picture because he's too old for me.
-another is out of the picture because he is my friend's ex...
that's too odd of a feeling to go after that.... and not only that,
i feel better just remaining friends...
+although, this one...
i think he's a good one.
we'll see. i'm not jumping
on any band wagons anytime
soon...

yeah.

umm.

had to vent that in a way.

stoked for new years.

never thee mind

i fixed it.
oi.
i need to
learn when
to stop talking.

yup.

oh well.
starting tomorrow
after....
11AM-ish
i will be on an all
white food diet.

why?
i'm getting my teeth whitened in the morning
and for "best results" i am not allowed to
eat any food...except for white food... for 24 hours.

impulsive

just when i think i have control
over myself and my life

i go and i do something
that totally BLOWS it.

ugh.

dropping dollars

today was the first time
that i didn't blow my
paycheck at once.

i went shopping at
south coast plaza.
i NEVER come back
with cash still in
my bank account.

ever.

but today for some
reason, i found stuff
i liked... and didn't buy it.

i was able to look, admire,
and walk away...

huh.

oh well. mommy dearest bought
me a skirt, tux style shirt, a tux jacket [for girls],
a silver halter, and a decent shirt from H&M.
she still wants to take me shopping but i have yet
to find anything else i really like.

sad to say, i honestly think that the fashion
world mucho sucked this year.

i have higher hopes for 2008.

anyway. i'm calling it a night.
it's only 7:15, but i have to
be up at 3AM and there's no way
that i'm gonna stay up late and
do whatever.

good night
love you all

p.s. what is everyone doing for new
years? i have nada to do...as of right now

can't sleep

it's 1:36 am
and i have to
wake up at 3am
in order to get to
work by 4:15AM.

i can't sleep.
i don't know why.

for some people, no never means no

i don't understand why some people automatically assume
that when i say "no" it for some magical reason never means
what it was intended to.

and when i have to get a bit aggressive to show that i meant
what i said, i automatically get called a b***h. for some unknown
reason.

i don't get it.
yeah, i'm nice.... but it doesn't mean that i give in to everything.
heaven forbid i think for myself, right?
just because i just turned 18 a few months ago APPARENTLY
means that i'm still unbelievably immature and am incapable
of knowing what is right or wrong or what is in my best interest.
oh no... because i am so young and naive, i just don't know anything.

you know what... i'm gonna get some mistletoe and hang it
above my behind and give people a reason to kiss it...

i'm young, but i'm not stupid...
i can think for myself
and i have yet to do
something stupid
in my life.

thank you world, but no thanks.
i'm a big girl.
it's time to stop under estimating me
and it's time to let me go.

i'm capable of way more than you
assume.

blah.

on the other foot...
i love my laptop.

and all of you...
<3

lost

i can only find one of my 4 anberlin CDs.
i'm kind of bummed.
if i can't find them, i shall have to
purchase them.

blegh.
oh well.

again, merry christmas!

feliz navidad

feliz navidad
a todo el mundo.
que disfruten el dia
con amigos y familia.


merry christmas
to everyone.
i hope you enjoy
your day with friends
and family.


♥

merry christmas eve

yesterday's thing to do on the
starbucks advent calendar
was for us to ask random
customers if they could name
three different holidays that
happen throughout december
and if they just participated
[whether they got it right or
wrong] i was allowed to upgrade
the size of their drink or reduce the
price of their purchase. that was fun.
i like the theme this year of
passing the cheer. surprisingly,
i got great reactions. and in return,
the customers tipped heavily.
and i mean HEAVILY. i dropped
$100 in tips in an my first hour of doing that.

haha. i've had a great weekend. despite
the fact that i wound up opening yesterday,
i had fun hanging out with Lauren going to
see Traditions of Christmas and then meeting
a few of the guys from the AGO frat. it was also
good cuz we ran into Zach, who i haven't seen since
he transferred stores back at the end of summer,
and even then i hardly saw him.

luckily we're back in contact again. which is super awesome.

and i think Heidi and i are the only people who can
get away doing the gift exchange that we did.. hahaha.
i purchased the shirts, she paid me back for mine...
we wrapped them in front of each other, then exchanged them
and mocked surprise. it was funny. :]

FLOOD was chill last night, too. i had never been to a candle light
service and that was was pretty sweet.

hanging out with Zach [shade] and Michael [armani] after church
was interesting, too. haha. Michael is a funny person...

i still find it amusing that the AGO guys own the devil wears prada
AND mean girls...

and i'm glad Lauren and her big sis italy were able to join us
in the movie watching wonderful-ness.

but, whatevs. i hope to hang out with them more.

♥ to everyone. have a Merry Christmas.

chalk world

let's go buy chalk
and drive around
and draw pictures
and write messages
for people to see :]


i saw a chalk heart
on a street corner the
other day... and it made me
smile :]


mmk. that's my thought for the
day.

baby shift at work tomorrow.
then hanging out with lauren.
awesome.
:]


peace.

i'll try my heartest

i'll try my heartest.
i like that.
way more than "hardest".
i feel like saying i'll try my hardest
means that you'll only put the required
effort and a little bit more into it.

i'll try my heartest.
i like that better. it sounds like you'd
put your whole heart into whatever
you do. to show you really care about
what you're doing.

i like my new starbucks a lot.
my manager is a doll. she's super sweet.
she's never mean. she does follow the
rule book and gets irked when you do
something that's against "code", but then
again, who wouldn't? if i was the manager
i would too.

my new store actually has nice customers
that come in&out. they're nice. always.
it's strange. i'm always happy to help.
my last two stores and had to put on the
fakey-plastered on-smile and attitude
just so i could fool myself&people that
i was doing alright.

mmmm i'm loving it.

i want to go on a day trip up to julian&
see snow&get apple pie. want to join?

&&i would also love to go on an adventure
and take pictures... i'm determined to take
a contradictory picture... like wearing a
winter coat and jeans and such, but take a
picture at the beach. that'd be fun.

i want to learn how to ice skate. i've been..
once. and i clung to the wall like a scared
little girl the whole time.

&&i would like to learn how to swing.
i've wanted to learn to do that for a while.
it seems like fun. good fun fun fun fun fun.

:]

haha. i don't know what else to do.
thank goodness i have tomorrow off.

it's gonna be a new year

i was thinking as to what i want to pick
to be my new year's resolution...
but then i remembered, i am the last
person who even remembers to fulfill
them. so i'm setting goals instead. they
scare me less. haha.

i signed myself up to get involved with the
TWLOHA street team. i like that cause. it's
a good cause.

i'm determined to find me a guy that is closer
to my age that loves Jesus. i want a good guy
and i need a good guy who won't want me to
compromise my morals. (not like i ever did, anyway)

i'm going to stop avoiding the fact that i need
to go through shift manager training at starbucks.
haha. i'm gonna start taking the steps instead of
talk about taking the steps to moving up.
first starts with learning coach training.

i'm going to maintain my 4.0 in school, but i need
to load up on classes. i am taking 20 units this semester..
and i'm working. haha. oh baby!

i'm determined to get back to eating healthy [i eat so much
crap during the holidays] and i am going to set up an exercise
regimen for myself...

i need to start actually saving money. i'm determined to
take a trip to australia next december... when it is
summertime over there.

*sign my TAG transfer contract to UC Berkley. i want to
meet all the requirements to get into their business school.
i want to major in marketing. hopefully be a music marketer
some day. that's my goal. it was my goal a while ago and i
don't know WHY i changed my mind.

i want to be a Big Sister for Big Brothers, Big Sisters starting
during the summertime.

break the nasty habit of swearing i picked up when i did tech.

i want to be braver and say what needs to be said, again.
i got soft... and why? i don't know. i don't like being
walked all over. and i don't know why i allowed myself
to become like that for a few weeks.

i'm just determined, overall, to change my life for the
better.

i messed up a lot in 4 years. i'm an adult now and it's
time to be one, you know? i want to slowly become
more independent. and maybe move out if i manage
to have enough money to do so and if i find a roommate
who is willing to live with me.

well... there you are. haha. i hope everyone has a great holiday
season and i wish you all the best.

while i sit at home sick

i made a decision that this year's christmas gifts
were all going to be purchased from different
organizations. whether it be Invisible Children,
To Write Love On Her Arms, Save Darfur, or
whatever it may be... i decided that it would be
good for me and a better benefit to the organization
that my money go to them in exchange for a cute
t-shirt or bracelet or whatever and my money go
to a good cause...
cuz i think it is better than me spending my money
at sephora or some sort of cd or clothing store.
my mom just wanted me to donate money in her
name to the leukemia and lymphoma research...
in honor of one of my heroes caleb dominguez...
which was kind of a gift for me, too.
my dad just asked me to pick an organization to
donate to that i deemed reasonable to donate to,
so i donated money to the make a wish foundation
under his name.

my brother stuck to the selfish self that he is,
i mean, he's only 15 so i bought him concert tickets..
i kind of wish i had just bought him a TWLOHA t-shirt..
i mean, some of his favorite bands support TWLOHA anyway.

but whatever. this is my christmas of giving... not to just me
and my friends, but to people who will do better with the money
that is spent.

among that, i have a few other confusions and frustrations.

i need someone else's insight on that.. it'd be nice..
but yeah.

i'm off to bed again.
fevers make me sleepy.

it's my first

it's been a rough year for me, and finally it's beginning to look up.
i've re-established connections with friends who i believe are
good people to surround myself with.
i've finally found a church where i feel like i belong there.
i've found my faith in Christ again, and i couldn't have been happier.
i love my job, and i'm getting to work at a great new store.
and i've just been able to do what i love doing
with no restraints anymore. no one is questioning my motives
or is trying to hold my back. it's perfect now.

it seems like this is completely unnecessary and all, but you know,
sometimes thing just have to be put in writing for me to feel like
it's been set.

:]

i'm excited for this holiday season. and i'm excited for this new year.
i hope all is going well for everyone.
i can finally say, it's all falling into place for me.

<3 hugs, love, &kisses.
veronica