step one, two, and three, and four

Jazz Dance Studio (Parma), originally uploaded by teo_ladodicivideo.

i woke up extra early this morning.
i don't even have class until eleven-ten
and i have been up since 5:45...
for once, to a quiet house, quiet dogs,
and darkness.

it was weird. but good. i got my quiet
time to think. i had my Jesus time.
i read a bit, too.

but i'm excited for dance. my legs
aren't, but i know it's going to be enjoyable.

i gave up performing two years ago.
i saw a show with lauren that made me realize
how much i truly do miss it.
i gave up using the gifts God gave me.
and now, i'm honing them again.

*

yesterday i felt a voice in the back of
my head telling me to come to terms with
my past. the voice kept getting stronger as
i went about my day through my classes...
so i stopped paying attention in statistics
and started writing. and i've dug up what i've buried.
i buried my past out of shame, or out of what
people have said to me about it. but i felt that
God told me i needed to come to terms with it.
and now i feel like he's telling me i need to
share it. i don't feel like i need to share with
with a lot of people... just a few.

the way i wrote it was sort as a justification to
WHY i am getting my tattoo...
and the reason i wrote it that way is after hanging
out with a few friends last thursday... and they
asked me why i wanted the tattoo, i told them it
was for personal reasons... and i've felt this
tugging on my heart ever since... like that i
should have explained to them the long and real
reason as to why i'm getting it.

i guess, if you'd like to read my story, i'll share it
with you.

all i ask is that you look at it with non-judgemental
eyes... and that realize that who i am now, is who
i intend to be for a very, very long time.
that my past shouldn't skew your opinion of me.

*sigh* haha.

yesterday's pluses:
+seeing an old friend
+being asked to help with a band
+my co-workers
+my manager
+trashy celeb gossip rags that the
girls in my store&i bond over
+hugs GALORE
+PURE guy-girl friendships

today's plus:
+dancing
dancing
dancing

<3

p.s. took the whole dern weekend off
including friday. let's go somewhere,
go do something... <3