oh my God shine your light on us

i feel like the lip ring makes my vicious face look more vicious :]
haha. ugh i'm so lame sometimes, i crack myself up.

last night i had to tell my life story to my growth group....and if you know me
and know my past.. it does not at all in the slightest bit come in a pretty
little package. and we're working together on a book called come with me
which is amazing... but i wasn't able to answer a whole section of it just
because i knew it would bring everything that i dealt with growing up
back to the surface... and i hate those times where i have to be vulnerable.
and those times where i am even brought to cry because all those scars
resurface... so i skipped forward in the chapter for this week and read on
about feeling weary... and then i realized that i love it when i can cry
and just stop and breathe... because i can feel God's arms wrapping
around me and cradling me. His gentle shushing...the fact that it's all
ok...

it's a stage of vulnerability for me.

and my normal reaction to this thing would be for me to put on this
tough as nails facade. but. God has been helping me tear down these
walls that i have built around myself for "protection" my whole life.
i'm afraid to get too close in fear of getting hurt. but... there comes
that word again. vulnerability.

so. here's to changes. and here is to me making no sense...
it made sense in my head.

vulnerability.

i kind of like it.

i love you.